http://www.noradsanta.org/en/default.php
Happy Holidays!!!!!!!
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Friday, December 22, 2006
My "Niece" *
I put this in quotes because I am pretty sure that one is unable to tell the sex of the baby at 3 months prenatal. But, hey, the picture doesn't show any genitalia. So there you go.
Looks kinda like an alien, no? Mean Aunt Jamie!
*my mom wrote "niece" in her email giving me the pic. Maybe she thinks (true in her family and our family) all eldest children are female. Hehe. No mom, just the best. :)
Looks kinda like an alien, no? Mean Aunt Jamie!
*my mom wrote "niece" in her email giving me the pic. Maybe she thinks (true in her family and our family) all eldest children are female. Hehe. No mom, just the best. :)
Thursday, December 21, 2006
No more stat!
I took my exam tonight after getting my ass handed to me for 2 hours at work. Crazy does not even begin to describe this afternoon.
I am done shopping. I hate shopping. I hate Christmas. I hate spending over my budget. I hate buying things for people because I feel like I have to. I mean, I want to for 99% of my receivers. But that 1% is bugging the hell out of me. And the 10% that I shouldn't probably give a gift to, but I will because I found something soooo perfect. Or because I am giving something to someone else and they might be hurt. Eh.
Anyway, I love white fudge pretzel clusters from Tarjay. They are yummy.
I did get 2 of my shifts covered at work, so guess what I'm doing tomorrow for the first time in over a month??? SLEEPING IN! PAST 9am! I know. I know. 9am. That's not so early. I'm still very excited not to have the need for my alarm tomorrow. That will be the highlight of my week. Oh. And the whole Christmas thing. Which I am sick of already.
I am done shopping. I hate shopping. I hate Christmas. I hate spending over my budget. I hate buying things for people because I feel like I have to. I mean, I want to for 99% of my receivers. But that 1% is bugging the hell out of me. And the 10% that I shouldn't probably give a gift to, but I will because I found something soooo perfect. Or because I am giving something to someone else and they might be hurt. Eh.
Anyway, I love white fudge pretzel clusters from Tarjay. They are yummy.
I did get 2 of my shifts covered at work, so guess what I'm doing tomorrow for the first time in over a month??? SLEEPING IN! PAST 9am! I know. I know. 9am. That's not so early. I'm still very excited not to have the need for my alarm tomorrow. That will be the highlight of my week. Oh. And the whole Christmas thing. Which I am sick of already.
Friday, December 15, 2006
9 Days Until Christmas
8 doubles between all three jobs.
Massive migraine coming on.
I may throw up.
Good thing? I got a good tip tonight from big spenders!
Massive migraine coming on.
I may throw up.
Good thing? I got a good tip tonight from big spenders!
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Elbow Deep
I'm almost 1/3 done with stat stuff. Its midnight. At this rate, I should be done around 10am tomorrow morning. :(
But! I just had to quote quickly my friend Nat, who reminds me:
"You can do it. You're so close to being elbow deep in pussy (delivering babies that is)."
Eh.
But! I just had to quote quickly my friend Nat, who reminds me:
"You can do it. You're so close to being elbow deep in pussy (delivering babies that is)."
Eh.
5 Weeks of Work
I need to get done by uh, ... now. Seriously. The last day to take the final exam is next week and I haven't done anything since before Thanksgiving. Away! Procrastinator begone!
In other news, my Xmas Shopping is done (except the making of 2 mixed cds, mom, dad, and a secret santa from the SeafoodJoint).
I am stocked with swdish fish, donuts, mntain dew, and an energy drink. My hope is to finish everything tonight. I may make my bar customers grumpy tomorrow with my caffeine/sugar withdrawal.
In other news, my Xmas Shopping is done (except the making of 2 mixed cds, mom, dad, and a secret santa from the SeafoodJoint).
I am stocked with swdish fish, donuts, mntain dew, and an energy drink. My hope is to finish everything tonight. I may make my bar customers grumpy tomorrow with my caffeine/sugar withdrawal.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
In the News
This makes me so happy. Sad that they've decided to live in Virginia (where mom#2 has no rights). But as someone who has seen the love that two moms can bring to a child: oh so happy!
Must stop reading news now. Am oh so sad about Dad in Oregon. I'm sure there's no link needed.
Must stop reading news now. Am oh so sad about Dad in Oregon. I'm sure there's no link needed.
A Letter to Myself
Dated 9.18.1997, 1:43am
Because you have such a bad memory, and because you've had to rack your mind in the past to see what it's like being 10, 13, or even 16; this is a long description of who you are, where you've been, and where you're going in life. *
Now for the family. What makes you what you are. I've come to like mine, most of the time.
My mother - I long to hold her, hug her, feel the warmth my sister receives. But there's so much distance and past between us.
My father. I've pushed him away so long, maybe as my psychologist said, to not hurt as much if/when he dies. (Regarding) His cancer: you're so scared of death. When you were 11 or 12, he told you that you were such a happy child, that now you never smile. It hurt you right to the bone. And yet, you still push him away for love and attention. He's just there for advice, it seems. **
Your sister. God, you love her. You love her maturity, and her innocence and her 7 year old piece of mind. She's growing up so fast. She reminds you that you were in 3rd grade once, in love with Troy ... the little boy that taught you to curse. She's spoiled, she's a brat, she hates you when you're a bitch, and she'll be your maid of honor if you ever get married.
Your brother. It's very hard to admit, because you are still a teenager and you're still very jealous that he's a boy and he has your father's attention. But you grew up with him. You've known him since you were five. You'd crawl into his bed when you were 13 and scared. You want him to be like you and you want him to be your successor.
Dusty. Your dog. The only one who ever understood. Loyalty is his middle name. He'd sleep in your bed once in a great while. Now he can't get up the steps. He was just hit by a car again (for the second time) on Sunday night. He would bark at a poster of a famous B'more baseball player as he got older- just for you. He loves you. He loves you because he knows you love him and you'll take care of him until he dies. Again you are SCARED of death. Even your dog. You thing he'll just be the first of many. He loves you because you throw him his ball and whisper sweet nothings to him and lie with him while he's in pain. And because you play ball with him. ***
Your Grandmom. You try so hard for her love and respect. She loves you even though you're not perfect. She knows it's hard being perfect and she forgives you. It will kill you when she dies. She's your idol. Your love. She's your guiding light. Hopefully she will be forever.****
Your Pop-Pops (both of them). They're both sick. They're both distant. But you still have a special place for them in your heart.
Your Mom Mom and Granddaddy. Ah-love. Ah-total devotion. On both sides. It's great being a favorite. *****
A couple notes looking back:
* I go on to describe lovers, friends, music
**things are good with both of my parents. I feel deeply in my heart that the divide that was there when I was a teenager is no longer there.
***hehehe. I love this paragraph.
****the reason for this post. I cried and cried when I found this. I don't remember why I wrote what I did. But I'm happy I did today.
*****At 28 and 3/4ths, I would never admit to being a favourite. I would only hope it deep in my heart. :)
Because you have such a bad memory, and because you've had to rack your mind in the past to see what it's like being 10, 13, or even 16; this is a long description of who you are, where you've been, and where you're going in life. *
Now for the family. What makes you what you are. I've come to like mine, most of the time.
My mother - I long to hold her, hug her, feel the warmth my sister receives. But there's so much distance and past between us.
My father. I've pushed him away so long, maybe as my psychologist said, to not hurt as much if/when he dies. (Regarding) His cancer: you're so scared of death. When you were 11 or 12, he told you that you were such a happy child, that now you never smile. It hurt you right to the bone. And yet, you still push him away for love and attention. He's just there for advice, it seems. **
Your sister. God, you love her. You love her maturity, and her innocence and her 7 year old piece of mind. She's growing up so fast. She reminds you that you were in 3rd grade once, in love with Troy ... the little boy that taught you to curse. She's spoiled, she's a brat, she hates you when you're a bitch, and she'll be your maid of honor if you ever get married.
Your brother. It's very hard to admit, because you are still a teenager and you're still very jealous that he's a boy and he has your father's attention. But you grew up with him. You've known him since you were five. You'd crawl into his bed when you were 13 and scared. You want him to be like you and you want him to be your successor.
Dusty. Your dog. The only one who ever understood. Loyalty is his middle name. He'd sleep in your bed once in a great while. Now he can't get up the steps. He was just hit by a car again (for the second time) on Sunday night. He would bark at a poster of a famous B'more baseball player as he got older- just for you. He loves you. He loves you because he knows you love him and you'll take care of him until he dies. Again you are SCARED of death. Even your dog. You thing he'll just be the first of many. He loves you because you throw him his ball and whisper sweet nothings to him and lie with him while he's in pain. And because you play ball with him. ***
Your Grandmom. You try so hard for her love and respect. She loves you even though you're not perfect. She knows it's hard being perfect and she forgives you. It will kill you when she dies. She's your idol. Your love. She's your guiding light. Hopefully she will be forever.****
Your Pop-Pops (both of them). They're both sick. They're both distant. But you still have a special place for them in your heart.
Your Mom Mom and Granddaddy. Ah-love. Ah-total devotion. On both sides. It's great being a favorite. *****
A couple notes looking back:
* I go on to describe lovers, friends, music
**things are good with both of my parents. I feel deeply in my heart that the divide that was there when I was a teenager is no longer there.
***hehehe. I love this paragraph.
****the reason for this post. I cried and cried when I found this. I don't remember why I wrote what I did. But I'm happy I did today.
*****At 28 and 3/4ths, I would never admit to being a favourite. I would only hope it deep in my heart. :)
Job Stuff and Cringe Worthy Writing
Monday I almost quit the SeafoodJoint. I was running late and arrived 12 minutes past my scheduled time (18 minutes before we open). The door was locked. The newest manager (as they all seem to have something to prove, eh?) had locked the door that is normally open for employees to access the restaurant. And then was an asshole on top of it. Great way to start the day. I worked 5 hours and took home $20. Even better way to end a day. When I mentioned to a different manager that I don't think Mondays are worth my time, he replied that I said I was available on Mondays and in so many words, tough shit. I cried a lot on Monday afternoon. After that, I slept all afternoon and through the night.
And then I got to watch Emmy on Tuesday and all was right with the world. H mentioned something about many moms on her listserv looking for babysitters. It was certainly tempting. I'll finish at least December. I have potential at the SeafoodJoint. I can sell wine and steamed apps and gift cards like a pro, I just need a couple months to tune my strings. I'm conflicted. One month. That's all you get SeafoodJoint!
I don't use myspace very often, but I am emailed everytime a friend request comes in. I received emails from my cousins in SoMd re: friend requests, although I didn't realize that one of the requests (coming from a goth, oh so dramatically goth girl) was my cousin as well.
So. In honor of dramatic youngsters everywhere, here are a couple lines that are cringe worthy from my own past. Nothing has been corrected although they are all abridged versions (puhlease, it's not a suffering post). I've added dates where they were noted on the original, but where its not noted, all of these are from 1993-1994 (freshman and sophomore year of high school).
"Premonitions"
I'm in a world at a time where neither what I want or how to get is clear. Sometimes I sit and watch stars or lakes or grass and just wonder how I will turn out. I have premonitions of my death and the deaths of others. I dream things impossible, yet frightening. Who will I be? What will I become? 9.11.94
"Part of My Heart"
The look on your face
told me I was right,
it is over between us
on this very night.
You keep telling me apologies,
and even your point of view.
But I cannot understand,
for I am in love with you.
I will never be the same again
for you see I am missing a part.
I will love you until the day I die-
you are apart of my heart.
"Deep Pain"
Pain is deep
so damn deep
it haunts me even
in my sleep.
I cry, I fear
for my soul
when I'm alone
gone to sleep.
Why do I hurt
Why do I feel
all this empty pain?
Maybe it is worth the while
if Hope
can make me
SANE.
"My Nights"
At night when I am all alone,
I weep,
there I weep.
I worry and sulk and am overwhelmed
by the hatred before my sleep.
"The Rock"
I am a rock,
on the sandy beach of life.
I can take as much as you give
without so much as a fight.
You cannot expect to hurt me
without me hurting back;
if you throw me hard enough,
don't you think I'll crack?
Maybe one day, far from now,
after the cold and lonely storms,
I'll stand and walk without my fears
on life's ever changing shores.
"How to Get Rid of Jon" for a friend that didn't want her bf anymore
You could throw him off a cliff
Date his best friend, Biff
Get me to write a mean poem to him
Make him babysit my brother, Jim.
Send him a live grenade in fake silk
or sneak some poison in his milk.
Did I say honesty was where it's at?
Maybe he'd respond more to a baseball bat?
Cuz girl you got bigger fish to fry
Named Josh, Tom, and Bartender Guy. (the boys she DID like)
And then I got to watch Emmy on Tuesday and all was right with the world. H mentioned something about many moms on her listserv looking for babysitters. It was certainly tempting. I'll finish at least December. I have potential at the SeafoodJoint. I can sell wine and steamed apps and gift cards like a pro, I just need a couple months to tune my strings. I'm conflicted. One month. That's all you get SeafoodJoint!
I don't use myspace very often, but I am emailed everytime a friend request comes in. I received emails from my cousins in SoMd re: friend requests, although I didn't realize that one of the requests (coming from a goth, oh so dramatically goth girl) was my cousin as well.
So. In honor of dramatic youngsters everywhere, here are a couple lines that are cringe worthy from my own past. Nothing has been corrected although they are all abridged versions (puhlease, it's not a suffering post). I've added dates where they were noted on the original, but where its not noted, all of these are from 1993-1994 (freshman and sophomore year of high school).
"Premonitions"
I'm in a world at a time where neither what I want or how to get is clear. Sometimes I sit and watch stars or lakes or grass and just wonder how I will turn out. I have premonitions of my death and the deaths of others. I dream things impossible, yet frightening. Who will I be? What will I become? 9.11.94
"Part of My Heart"
The look on your face
told me I was right,
it is over between us
on this very night.
You keep telling me apologies,
and even your point of view.
But I cannot understand,
for I am in love with you.
I will never be the same again
for you see I am missing a part.
I will love you until the day I die-
you are apart of my heart.
"Deep Pain"
Pain is deep
so damn deep
it haunts me even
in my sleep.
I cry, I fear
for my soul
when I'm alone
gone to sleep.
Why do I hurt
Why do I feel
all this empty pain?
Maybe it is worth the while
if Hope
can make me
SANE.
"My Nights"
At night when I am all alone,
I weep,
there I weep.
I worry and sulk and am overwhelmed
by the hatred before my sleep.
"The Rock"
I am a rock,
on the sandy beach of life.
I can take as much as you give
without so much as a fight.
You cannot expect to hurt me
without me hurting back;
if you throw me hard enough,
don't you think I'll crack?
Maybe one day, far from now,
after the cold and lonely storms,
I'll stand and walk without my fears
on life's ever changing shores.
"How to Get Rid of Jon" for a friend that didn't want her bf anymore
You could throw him off a cliff
Date his best friend, Biff
Get me to write a mean poem to him
Make him babysit my brother, Jim.
Send him a live grenade in fake silk
or sneak some poison in his milk.
Did I say honesty was where it's at?
Maybe he'd respond more to a baseball bat?
Cuz girl you got bigger fish to fry
Named Josh, Tom, and Bartender Guy. (the boys she DID like)
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Side Note
I did get needed encouragement from management after shift was almost stolen. And they did this cool synchronized thing when they sat down to talk to me... Le sigh.
In return, I made special espresso drinks for them; as fellatio is not a well-respected form of showing gratitude to those you don't normally 'share relations' with.
Although I did vote for a certain canadian most of last month* and I am still awaiting my payment.
*who I cannot link to properly b/c blogger is being a jackass and I'm too lazy to look up html- http://schmutzie.blogspot.com/
In return, I made special espresso drinks for them; as fellatio is not a well-respected form of showing gratitude to those you don't normally 'share relations' with.
Although I did vote for a certain canadian most of last month* and I am still awaiting my payment.
*who I cannot link to properly b/c blogger is being a jackass and I'm too lazy to look up html- http://schmutzie.blogspot.com/
Ludicrous Speed
I'm angry at a coworker for trying to steal my shifts. This person was also invited to a very exclusive party hosted by a good friend of mine. I was not invited to the aforementioned party and she unknowingly/knowingly (doesn't really matter) threw this in my face on top of the attempted shift stealing. She is the devil. I don't hate her near as much as I do dittbrain, but she is fast approaching the top of my shit list.
Blogger sucks tonight. I am not its friend anymore. It is also approaching my shit list at LUDICROUS SPEED. WHY WONT YOU LET ME LINK OR CHANGE TYPE SIZE, FONT, OR COLOR?!?!?! GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't you KNOW how pissy I am?!?!? I will drop you like a hot potato for typepad in a MINUTE.
I should also now mention that it is super late, I have had a couple beers/cherry pie alamode, I have to work tomorrow all day, and and and.... I'm just realizing my work clothes are dirty!!! Wee! How fun!
I'm going to go cry now. And possibly drink more and just call out tomorrow.
Blogger sucks tonight. I am not its friend anymore. It is also approaching my shit list at LUDICROUS SPEED. WHY WONT YOU LET ME LINK OR CHANGE TYPE SIZE, FONT, OR COLOR?!?!?! GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't you KNOW how pissy I am?!?!? I will drop you like a hot potato for typepad in a MINUTE.
I should also now mention that it is super late, I have had a couple beers/cherry pie alamode, I have to work tomorrow all day, and and and.... I'm just realizing my work clothes are dirty!!! Wee! How fun!
I'm going to go cry now. And possibly drink more and just call out tomorrow.
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