Oh oh oh!

I forgot this was here. This whole blog thing. I know some people (a soleshakin girl) need reading material while waiting for work to begin; I'll try to be better.

I'm working a lot this week. It's good to make the extra money, but bad to not want to get up in the morning and begin again because my body aches.

I hate dating. Have I said that enough? What ever happened to good old arranged marriages? Just kidding. That just hurt my strong independent mind. Please don't take away my 'This is What a Feminist Looks Like" t-shirt. I just wish it wasn't so difficult.

I'm finally getting my butt in gear and finding out what I want to do about this whole school thing. I have a list of 90 schools all around the US (out of about 5000!!!!!) and am debating and listing on a spreadsheet and everything. I don't know where I'll end up. I would like for MD to call me and apologise for being such pains in the asses and just let me in for Sept. But. Well. You know. I'm a realist.

Teddy's mom doesn't need me after June. Which sucks. Big time. And now I am just figuring out that part of my life too. Should I take my classes and run away? Should I devote my summer to another kid who will eventually break my heart?!?!? Why do they grow up so fast?!?!?!

Speaking of kids growing up too fast: Em is signing up a storm. Ball, bird, finished, and food/eat. God he loves food. He signs it ALL THE TIME. Before he eats, when he's eating, after he's eaten. The boy LOVES food.

I renewed my love of tennis yesterday afternoon. I played with someone who didn't make me feel like an ass. The irony? It made me play harder. And longer then I have in the most recent past (when I was sooooo inactive). We were a good match when it came to volleying and I even got in a couple good serves. Oh tennis, how I ADORE you. Now all I need is a softball team...

A good friend at work lost her Dad this past week. My own Dad scared the shit out of me this morning by mistaking an obituary as being an old friend of mine. (It wasn't. Whew). Jeez. It just reminds me how precious my family and friends are to me and how much I should tell them so. I love you! I miss you! Smooch smooch smooch smooch smooch!!!!!!

Motivation

I can't seem to get motivated the past couple days. It's been over a week since the rock showed up in the middle of my road, and I am still just staring at it. Like my staring at it will make it move.

I want to go run. I want to go run away to another state. I want to get rid of everything I own. I just don't want to get stuck in a rut. I want to go to London and see Paulo. I want to travel around India and Washington state. I want to be a nurse. I want to deliver babies.

How do I get from point A to point B when all I want to do is lay in bed?

So Simple

I just heard this song.

How I want my life to be. Nono, not with the long distance relationship or anything. Just Simple. But Good.

Hehe. And then I see this. I guess Delilah didn't work out, huh?

Can I call her?

See this girl? Can you believe that she was 21 years old? HA! Me neither. She looks 13. This was taken May 15, 1999.

She didn't care for her boss very much, lived with cool roommates, was dating a pothead, and was headed to WMC in the fall. She was a waitress. She spent a year after high school babysitting.

I wish I could yell at her. Stop her from doing the stupid shit she did in the next 8 years, or even in that following year.

This sucks. Can I start over with this big failure I call my life? Or skip ahead to make sure that I'm not a restaurant person/babysitter in another 8 years?

Rejected

I will not be starting nursing classes in September. I don't know what it means for me right now. I'm just feeling really sick and really lost.

But nevertheless, I'm ready for the journey. I know that I will be a great midwife when someone wants to educate me. Even if I have to spend five years in Utah as purgatory.

Awful Dreams

I had an awful dream last night. It woke me up at 4:45. I started crying hysterically and wishing someone was in my bed, in my room, in my house, or even that I could call or text. No comfort for strong independent women like me.

If that whole UMD thing doesn't pan out...

Found in Salt Lake City:

1 Bedroom $495 650sq ft
Air Conditioning, Carpeted Floor, Dishwasher, Cable-ready, Balcony, Deck, Patio, Porch, Fireplace, On Site Laundry, Cats, Parking Space(s), Pool(s)


In Raleigh:
$425 / 1br - 1 Bedroom Apartment -- 674 Sq. Ft.


Found on Crgslist:

Nanny live-in Kailua, Oahu
Two boys ages 5 and 10. Private studio w/kitchen & Bath. Parents travel with work. Monthly per diem. Some pet sitting (2 dogs)and lite house keeping. Vehicle and cell phone available when on duty. Most days off from 8am-4pm. Non-smoker and must drive.


Alaska for the summer? $7.15/hour for bartenders and servers. Rent for shared living: $6/day (taken out of paycheck). Far from DC. Very very veryyyyy far.

Maybe I should go to bed now.

3 posts in less than 8 hours?

Someone brought me coffee at 11pm. And now I get to stay up half the night, watch Frnch and Saunders, and go to work at 11am. Sigh.

Speaking of my fav british comediennes, I just witnessed this. I almost peed myself.

Soon soon soon soon

BSN Admission Deadlines
Fall 2007 traditional BSN admission is closed (Updated 4/6/07)

Hallelujah! So maybe I'll hear within end of April? Maybe? Please? Please? PLEASE?!?!?!?

I JUST WANT TO KNOW, DAMN IT!!!!

I seem to be breathing kids

Songs in my head right now?

Don't Cross the Street in the middle in the middle in the middle of the block.
And!
The phone, the phone is ringing...

I would do almost anything to have the second song as my ringtone.

I spent the past 2 hours duckpin bowling with a 14 month on my hip. Bowling. With a 30 lb squirmy wormy on my hip. I'm tired.

3 More Things

to do when one gets dumped.

#1: Take back the shit he gave you for your birthday (a couple days before he met the girl he WANTED to date, who is more 'active') and get ~$75 in store credit. I'm glad I kept that packaging.

#2: Cut and dye hair to your liking. Don't dare let it grow long again because that's what he liked.

#3: Sign on for another 3 months of match. And swear not to be a fool again.

3 Things

1. I watched the first half of Hitch on Friday afternoon and the second half on Sunday morning. Wow. What a difference a weekend can make. I'm all swoony on Friday over the line about this may be the last first kiss. And all angry and hating the movie on Sunday. Anyone else feel that way about the movie? No? Hm.

2. While walking Teddy today, I passed by a neighborhood mom and kid.

Kid: Who's that?
Mom: It's a lady and her baby.

Why couldn't she had said 'A' baby and not 'HER' baby. Now I'm feeling all dumped and like I will never have kids unless I want them without a partner to help me raise them. Because you know now that I have been dumped, I will never love again and I will be unhappily alone. Forever. And ever.

3. I talked to Paulo today. Re: the dumping, he told me he wasn't sorry. He was sorry for the guy, but not for me because he knew the guy was missing out. And then it all comes back to perspective. I am who I am and if you don't like me for how awesome I am (as my 50 best friends all around the world know me to be) that is most definitely your problem. But damn you for breaking my heart and making me date, again.