Why Can't I Quit You?

Is there nothing more annoyingly obvious than: "I'm incapable of loving."? Do I think that somehow I will change that? Do I equate indecision as a challenge, like my love will eventually make you feel something other than an appealing sense of comfort?*

How many times will I erase your number? How many times will it return only to sit untouched and annoy the fuck out of me?

How many times will I step foot in your home, be embraced by your smell, and feel like I've come home? How many times will I fall in love with you while watching you smile as you talk to Grandma?

Yeah, this is one red thread. Over and over and fucking over again.

I know you don't know what you want. Or maybe you're scared to admit what you don't want.
I know what I want. And I don't want to be your friend.


*Insert PUKE